The Terrifying, Surprising and Miraculous Birth Story of Grayson Knight Duganz, Part 1

*Note: This is a Birth Story - as such there are details about birth. If you don't want to read about things like dilation and cervix effacement, please skip this post*

There are so many preconceptions and expectations surrounding pregnancy and birth. Patrick and I spent months and months planning for, dreaming about and picturing Grayson's birth. We wanted a natural birth. We expected it to take between 12-15 hours (average for first-time mom). We expected Grayson to weigh around 8 pounds when he was born. We expected that it would be challenging but neither of us anticipated just how difficult/exhausting/terrifying it would be.

To start with, Patrick was sick. The sickest I've seen him in years. We took him to the doctor the day he started feeling badly - not the flu (thanks to the flu shot) - but some nasty bug going around. Because of this, I had stopped actively trying to go into labor (stomping around outside in the snow, eating spicy food, etc.) as I didn't want it to happen when Patrick was still feeling lousy.

But the morning of the 29th, four days after Grayson's estimated due date, Patrick started feeling better. My dad suggested that we go for a short hike to help labor get started.  So we drove up Hyalite Canyon and hiked the half mile trail to Palisades Falls. The drive itself was stressful enough - we even got stuck briefly in the powdery snow when the tires of Rhino (my sister's Exterra) got off the tire tracks a little. Luckily a group of about 15 snowshoers just happened by and helped push the vehicle out of the deep snow and back onto the road. 

Ready for the hike at 40 weeks plus 5 days.

The hike was pretty exhausting, despite it's "easy" rating. At the top of the hike, I sat down on a tree stump and watched the crazy people attempt to climb the waterfall.

Ice climbers at the Falls. 

As I sat there, I felt something a little different. I had suspicion that my water had broken, but I wasn't sure. We headed back down the trail and I brushed off the feeling that maybe I had started labor. We got back home and the evening progressed normally. After the long day, I went to bed early.

Around 10 pm,  I started feeling contractions. Or what I thought could be contractions. I wasn't sure since I'd been having braxton hicks for weeks. I told Patrick I thought this could be it, and we started timing the contractions. Eventually it became apparent that these weren't going away, that they were getting longer and stronger, and that I was in true labor. Patrick woke my family and let them know that this was it. He also called our midwife, who advised us to wait until the contractions were longer and a shorter time apart before heading in to the hospital.

Patrick made me a bubble bath and we rode out the early contractions. Around 4:30 am, they got to the point that my midwife had indicated would be a good time to head in. I figured after laboring at home for around 6 hours, that I was approximately half way, or a little less through the labor.

We arrived at the hospital and got set up in a room. I had already pre-registered and my midwife had called to let them know I was coming in so that part was easy. The nurse on call wanted to check me so she could let my midwife know how things were progressing. Like I said, I figured I was around a 5 or 6 cm dilation, or about half way there. She checked me and declared I was at 2 cm. I'm pretty sure I would have punched her in the face if I'd been able to.

She seemed ready to send me home as she figured this was false labor. Just to make sure, she did a test to check if, in fact, my water had broken. Sure enough, it had. This started the clock. Standard medical practice doesn't like the water to be broken for more than 24 hours before the baby is born. It can cause infection and possibly lead the baby into distress. So my midwife Cassie arrived, ready to get this baby born.

To Be Continued in Part 2....

39 Weeks and Why I Want A Natural Birth

Even before I found out that we were pregnant, I knew I wanted a natural, unmedicated childbirth. I've never been a fan of routinely taking medication, even Tylenol (which is apparently much more dangerous than most people think - see this and this). I did not think that my decision was very controversial. However, after 9 months of pregnancy, I can tell you that I was certainly wrong about that assumption.

I routinely get asked if I'm going to get "the drugs." When I respond, "nope, trying for a natural birth," the responses I get the most are "you're crazy" or "good luck with that." While I respect other people's thoughts and experiences on the subject, I'm starting to wonder why it seems like such a radical choice to most people, so I did a little digging.

A little more than three out of five of women chose an epidural (see this CDC study). Medical advances mean that getting an epidural is a fast and effective way to block the pain of labor for the mother. As the CDC report puts it, "this can lead to a more comfortable labor and delivery experience when compared with other forms of pain relief (e.g., systemic or local analgesia, Lamaze)."

What getting an epidural looks like.

However, there are side  effects associated with an epidural, including a longer labor, an increased chance of c-section (some reports show the chance of c-section increases up to 2.5 times after receiving an epidural), up to triple the likelihood of induction with Pitocin, and an increase the chance of instrumental delivery (no, that's not as awesome as it sounds). Not to mention the fact that you are paralyzed from the waist-down for whoever knows how long after receiving the epidural. I also won't even talk about a botched epidural (which happens more than you would think). 

Aside from all of the rather frightening information about epidurals, I have never been the type of girl to take the easy way out. I totally understand that there are some situations where having an epidural/other type medical intervention can be life saving to both the mother and child, for instance with a medically-necessary induction. In that case I absolutely understand the decision to have an epidural. However, as my pregnancy has so far been low-risk, I'm not anticipating that I will need such medical intervention (knock on wood) and therefore it seems to me that asking for an epidural would be taking the easy way out.

I just wish I could explain my reasoning for wanting a natural, unmedicated childbirth to people without feeling like Sasquatch or some other ridiculous freak of nature. 

Ludo Smash.

Maybe in the future I can just bust out the following list:

1. I am not afraid of pain. 
2. I actually want to experience childbirth (yes, pain included).
3. I survived and recovered from a brutal emergency abdominal surgery when I was 20 (and the subsequent life-changing diagnosis). I did not die or even experience an extreme amount of pain when I was 17, despite the fact that my appendix had been ruptured for a week. 
4. Because of my experiences, I believe in my body's natural ability to be awesome, despite extremely difficult situations.
5.  Based on the above, I also know that I have an extremely high tolerance for pain.
6. I enjoy things that are difficult, because the payoff is so much better than things that are easy. 
7. I believe that I will be able to perform better during the labor and therefore have an easier experience, if I am not numb from the waist down.
8. I believe it will allow me to have an intense and amazing bonding experience with my husband and my son.
9. Believe it or not, I am actually excited to experience the birth process, and I want to be as fully present as possible. 
10. Seriously. Experienced a fair amount of physical pain in my life. Really doesn't scare me.

Now some of you been there, done that moms might be thinking "wow she is really naive - just wait until she experiences it and she'll be singing a different tune." And you might be right. I know that labor/birth does not always go as planned. I absolutely do not judge women who chose to get an epidural for whatever reason. It's a well-practiced and safe medical procedure. I just know that given the choice, it is not for me. I wish that people could afford me the same respect in return instead of labeling me as "crazy."

In the mean time, I truly hope that I get the opportunity to experience birth the way that I want. But whatever happens in the end, as long as my son and I are both healthy, I will be happy.

Okay enough seriousness, here are this week's pictures. Figured we might want to include Patrick in these since they might be the last baby bump pictures we get to take (fingers crossed!).

Our best Christmas gift ever is on his way!

37 Weeks

Short post tonight since it's getting past my bedtime. Baby Grayson now weighs 6 1/3 pounds and measures a bit over 19 inches, head to heel. We're doing away with the fruit/veggie comparison now as we've gotten to the point where he is really just baby size. We've started weekly appointments with our midwife and officially preregistered at the hospital. Also getting the hospital bag packed just in case.

So excited to welcome this week's guest stars - Jason & Maleea! They both made it safe and sound and are now just trying to adapt to this crazy cold snap we're dealing with. Despite the cold, right after we took this week's photos, we went to the Christmas Stroll downtown Bozeman. Got some good chai, roasted marshmallows and looked at the pretty lights.

After we the Stroll, we took Jason and Maleea to the Bacchus for some drinks (hot cocoa for me) and curry fries. While we were there, I started experiencing some painful Braxton-Hicks contractions. They were definitely the most intense that I have experienced so far. It really made me realize that the labor won't happen on any type of schedule and that I just need to be mentally prepared at all times. 

Exciting things coming up this week - it's my last week of work before maternity leave starts and my mom arrives on Saturday!

Grayson's auntie and uncle are here to stay!

Ohana Means Family

I am so thankful this year. Thankful for a good job, to live somewhere beautiful and inspiring,  to have great friends whom I can count on. But most of all this year I am thankful for my family. My own little family will be growing by one this year. If that isn't exciting enough, in a matter of days my sister will be here to stay!

I moved to Montana in the summer of 2007. I knew no one, wanted to go to school for photojournalism, and Montana sounded like a romantic and wild place to live.

To help me meet people I joined the UM Symphony Orchestra, the UM Equestrian Team and, most importantly, the staff of the Montana Kaimin. I built myself a little family with the people I met through these pursuits. When I met Patrick and we got married, my Montana family got even bigger.

Despite the wonderful family I had made, I have always longed to be close to my family of origin again. My mom lives in Hawaii. My sister and my dad live in Oregon. A trip to Oregon is obtainable, but just far enough away to not be a regular occurrence. A trip to Hawaii is even more rare. 

So when my little sis came up to Montana for the wonderful baby shower she planned for Patrick & I, my thoughts were focused on convincing her to stay. I felt a very strong pull to have family together since my own little family is growing. I'm not sure what Patrick or I said that actually stuck (possible nothing, as Mr. Grayson can be very convincing as well) but something did because MY SISTER IS MOVING TO MONTANA!!!

Me and sis at the baby shower.

I am so overwhelmed with happiness and general joy. Thinking about doing holiday traditions together, hanging out on weekends, going to Yellowstone, watching her play hockey (?), and most importantly, her sure presence at Grayson's birth/the beginning of his life.

Not to mention the fact that she's bringing with her Mr. Jason Owens, boyfriend extraordinaire. I know Patrick is thrilled to have a funny, smart and football-savvy guy like him around (not to mention his knowledge of beer!) and I just can't wait to have them both close.

In the meantime, here are this weeks bumpdate photos (check out that beautiful sky!). Our baby is gaining about an ounce a day. He now weighs almost 6 pounds and is more than 18 1/2 inches long (about the size of some bok choy). Only a few weeks left!

35 Weeks

35 weeks down, five weeks to go. Although, I have a feeling that Grayson might be coming a little early—possibly coinciding with the full moon. The December full moon, called the Full Cold Moon, occurs on December 17th. This is exactly one week before my estimated due date. According to Farmer's Almanac: "The Full Cold Moon; or the Full Long Nights Moon is called such because during this month the winter cold fastens its grip, and nights are at their longest and darkest. It is also sometimes called the Moon before Yule."

Photo courtesy of Creative Commons @JrOlivera.com

According to popular belief and decades of folklore the lunar effect is real. However, there have been multiple studies done regarding the correlation of the moon and birth rates—none of which prove that there is any connection at all.

BUT...despite the lack of hard evidence, ask any labor & delivery nurse and they will tell you that the birth rate increases around a full moon. In fact when Patrick & I went to tour the hospital earlier this week, our tour guide, a labor and delivery nurse, told us that we could only look at one of the smaller birthing suites because all of the others were full due to the the full moon. So believe what you will, but if Grayson comes a week early I would not be surprised. 

While we are discussing the night sky, another really interesting thing happening right around Grayson’s birth is the arrival of Comet ISON. At least a million years ago, according to NASA, Comet ISON began its journey from the Oort cloud, a swath of icy objects that orbit far beyond Neptune.

Photo Credit: NASA, ESA, and the 
 Hubble Heritage Team (STScI/AURA)

ISON is set to pass closest to our sun on Thanksgiving Day. If it is able to survive this trip around our sun, we tiny earthlings will get to experience a rare view, as ISON will be visible to the naked eye all night long from late December to early January. ISON is predicted pass closest to the Earth on December 26th. If you're into astronomy like I am (and probably Grayson will be too, since his father is also a space-nerd), check out this cool calculator showing the distance of ISON from the sun, it's velocity, etc. So perhaps it is that fortuitous day on which Grayson will make his appearance and not a week earlier.  

But whatever day he arrives, I'm just so excited to meet him. Of course, as I've said before, I want him to stay put at least another 4 weeks. (Grow, baby, grow!) As you can see below, he certainly is. Measuring the over 18 inches long and tipping the scales at around 5 1/4 pounds  (the weight of a honeydew melon), Grayson is too big to somersault around in my tummy anymore. Luckily, as of our last appointment, he is head down so that's one less thing to worry about. Now he just needs to keep on growing!

34 Weeks

Due to daylight savings time messing with our photo schedule, these pictures were actually taken at more like 34 1/2 weeks but it's close enough. Grayson now weighs 4 3/4 pounds - about the size of a cantaloupe - and is almost 18 inches long. His central nervous system is maturing and his lungs are continuing to mature as well. It's hard to imagine that in just over a month we will finally get to meet him. 

Got a little overwhelmed again this week with how much there is left to do to prepare for his arrival. Thankfully one big component got taken care of this week - the car seat. Thanks to a very generous gift from Great Aunt Mary Anne and Great Grandpa Duganz, we now have a top-of-the-line car seat to bring Grayson home in. It's a relief to know that if anything were to happen early, we would at least be able to bring him home safely. 

Statistically, four out of five car seats are installed incorrectly. Luckily, the local fire department is certified in child seat safety checks. So next week we'll be making an appointment to ensure our car seat is installed correctly. It's a great service to the community and I'm excited to take advantage of it.   

Maternity Photos Sneak Peek

So no Bumpdate today. It was dark when I got home at 5:30 p.m. Daylight savings time is the worst. We will have to start shooting the Bumpdates on the weekends when there is actual daylight outside. In the mean time, here is a sneak peek of our maternity photos.

Thanks to the help of my wonderful friend Stacey, we went out a couple of weekends ago and took these maternity photos. It was a beautiful fall day and the Bridgers looked amazing. We had fun, even my camera-shy husband.

So here they are. Stay tuned later in the week for the 33 week Bumpdate (preview: Grayson doesn't just kick anymore, he does full-body rolls).